Thursday, 1 April 2010

The Mad Hatter

When will I ever learn? Two weeks ago a note was sent home to the parents in Reception class. The kids had to decorate an Easter bonnet at home and wear it to school today. There will be an Easter Parade with prizes awarded for the best bonnets. I thought back to the last time this happened, 8 or 9 years ago, when Truly was in Reception and I felt that old familiar queasiness. Arts & Crafts and I make for strange bedfellows. We do not get along. I'm lousy at all things artsy or crafty. Always have been.

It seems that whenever the mummy stakes are set the highest, I have a tendency to aim low. That way I won't miss my mark. So, in the two weeks leading up to the grand Easter Parade, I stalled in anticipation. Finally, two days before the big event I sent Truly off to Poundland with a few loose coins. She returned with a treasure trove of festive holiday hat making goodies. Not wanting to get in the way, I sat back and let Truly assist Scrumptious with her millinery creation.

This morning Scrumptious donned her hat, pools of the copious amounts of glue still tacky to the touch. Luckily, the little £1 hat that could has an elastic chin strap because it's a teensy bit too small. So it sat on the top of Scrumptious' head, perched at a jaunty angle. A few anaemic little yellow chicks (most likely battery instead of free range) clung to the glue with spindly plastic feet. On top of the hat there was a nest of purple straw with three Cadbury's creme eggs nestled inside, all that could be spared from a jumbo bag. It appears that milliners require sustenance to complete such a technical marvel.

When we got to school, it happened the way it always does. The other children turned up in hats that stepped off a Philip Treacy catwalk. I'm envisioning the Isabella Blows and Mad Hatters strutting in the Parade with Scrumptious pulling up the rear, looking for all the world like Minnie Pearl taking to the stage of the Grand Ole Opry. If she belts out her own rendition of 'Howdy!' I will not be surprised.

So yet again, I am the mother of a daughter who will be sorely disappointed when she is not awarded a chocolate egg the size of her torso. And yet again, I will most likely be buying her a big chocolate egg to compensate for my shortcomings. The good news is that Scrumptious was proud of her hat and didn't seem to notice that the other kids had much more talented mummys who excel at Arts & Crafts.


  1. Have tagged you for a meme over at my blog. x

  2. Ah this made me laugh. And want a cadburys creme egg. I'll bet she looked grand.

  3. Am so glad my kids go to a non-religious, non-competitive school. I would never cut it.

  4. Aww! That post made me giggle! But also made me imagine what it will be like when Oli goes to school - I'm not arty farty crafty at all so I'm bound to be the embarrassing mother!!

  5. very bored--okay, I'll give it a go!

    Gappy, oh she looked grand (ahem)!

    Expat mum, my kids DO go to a non-religious, non-competitive school. But the kids happen to have some very talented mothers!

    Emma, clearly I am not even remotely arty farty crafty. It's best to keep the sense of humour intact, I'd say.

  6. You made me laugh. I've just been browsing backwards too - haven't been over for a while. I've been enjoying your older posts.

  7. Make friends with crafty moms. It's what I do. Ha!

    Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest! (two days late)

  8. Very funny-especially the kids eating all but 3 eggs!

  9. Iota-thanks for stopping by and reading!

    hotpants-ha, ha, great idea!

    suester-yes, there were tummy aches all around in our house over the festive Easter holiday!