Tuesday, 2 March 2010

New and Abridged List of New Year's Resolutions, the Spring Version

You know what the great thing is about starting your New Year’s resolutions in March? I should think the answer would be obvious. You’ve had two months to whittle and hone a rather long (frankly, way too long) list of (un)achievable goals. Here are two of the things I managed to cull from my list with very little effort and, so far, not a lot of harm has come of it:

#1 Limit red wine consumption. Only drink red wine on weekends, not during the week.

So don’t drink during the week. Unless you’re going out to dinner. Because you can hardly expect to go to a restaurant and not have a teeny little glass of red wine. That would be unsociable.

You know what? I don’t get out much so maybe, just as a special treat, I’ll drink wine with my dinner during the week. But only one glass. I wonder how big the glass should be?

You know what? Too many restrictions here. What if I have a friend over? Surely, I can’t skimp on a guest in my home. So it’s okay to drink if you are promoting a spirit of friendship and conviviality. Or if HRH had an especially good/bad day. After all, you can’t expect him to drink alone. That’s too mean.

You know what? Red wine is actually good for you. Studies have proven that it’s good for the heart or the blood or something. Whatever. It’s good for you. In fact, I’ll write it at the bottom of my list of super foods that I have tacked on the refrigerator door. Just so I don’t forget that I’m drinking for my health.

You know what? This limitation on my wine consumption is too complicated and I’ve made a compelling argument, backed up by research, as to why this doesn’t even deserve a place on my list of New Year’s Resolutions. So that’s one less thing to worry about.

#2 Work Out, Get Fit
I could join a gym but membership is pretty expensive so maybe I’ll just start by running around the park. Every single day. Except the weekends. Because that’s family time and I don’t want to take away from that precious time with HRH and the children.

You know what? I have to walk the Royal Hound everyday so maybe I could incorporate it into my running regime. A win/win. Two for the price of one run.

You know what? The Royal Hound runs off in the wrong direction when I start running so it’s pretty dangerous for him if I selfishly go running instead of walking the Royal Hound. So I’ll stick with walking.

After all, walking is good exercise. Better than sitting on a bench, for instance. And it gives the Royal Hound such pleasure.

So, really, I don’t need to keep this one on my list of New Year’s Resolutions. Because I already do it naturally. By walking the Royal Hound. Walking is so much better for my knees in the long run and it’s healthy. Studies have proven . . .

Now, you see how that works? I’m left with a much more doable list and I plan to start immediately. Today. Here it is: Go Green; Get a Job/Life/Find a Calling; Be Kind to Everyone Every Single Day; Read all the Classics; Start the Happiness Project; Save a Child; Never Raise my Voice to my Children; Never Raise my Voice to HRH; Raise my Voice and Speak out Against Poverty/Domestic Violence/War; Learn a new Skill.

Easy Peasey. Now that I’ve shortened the list, it should be a doddle.


  1. I love your rationalizations. Running is probably detrimental to your health and why give up red wine. What else do you have? You can't go shopping everyday or get a massage every day or go to Disney every day(Oh wait, that's me). In reality, drinking red wine a few times a week is probably beneficial to not only you but also to the hubby and kids. So, if you give it up on Monday it will make you feel a great sense of self control and Tuesdays wine will taste so much better!